F*ck
Perfection
Handwash that refuses to fit in.
Cleans properly.
Smells sharp.
Hard to ignore.
MENTIONED BY
Pick your bottle
One's Rude. One's Not.
*Sploosh*
*Drip*
*Glop*
*Squish*
*Blop*
*Shhhplatt*
How to Wash Your Hands:a training model for ambitious lifeforms
Activate the water and lather
Apply FILTH. Proceed to use the levers placed close to the basin and turn on the water with whatever degree of competence you can muster. Cold. Warm. Somewhere in between. Whatever feels pleasurable. Place the relevant appendages under the stream and rub accordingly.
Dry and sniff
Dry hands with towel, sock, or whatever is lying on the floor. Then, sniff. It won't get you high, but it sure smells good.
That doesn't sound so hard, does it?
Media Library
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FAQ (no one actually asked)
Is it normal to talk to the bottle?
Probably not. But you wouldn’t be the first.
Are your products family friendly?
Yes. Unless your family hates jokes.
DO YOUR PRODUCTS CONTAIN HAVE ADAPTOGENS?
No. We prefer our fungi on pizza, our collagen in our faces, and our probiotics in yoghurt.
